The Goldilocks Hypothesis
by kmd5133
Summary: The guys are returning home from the Arctic and Penny is excited about their return. a/n Originally started as a one shot, but needed a tidier bow. Thanks for the props!
1. Too hard

Penny let out a loud yawn as she strung up the WELCOME HOME sign across Sheldon and Leonard's kitchen cabinets. She had pulled a double shift yesterday and worked the lunch shift today at the Cheesecake Factory so she could be home tonight when her boys returned.

'Her boys' she thought to herself and grinned. Both Sheldon and Leonard, and by extension Howard and Raj had become a surrogate family to her since she had moved into the building over 2 years ago. She hadn't realized how much she had come to depend on them until they left a couple of months ago on their expedition to the Arctic. She missed Halo night, paintball Saturdays. She still got the takeout Thai food, but it didn't just taste as good for some reason. Maybe because Sheldon wasn't there obsessing over the minutiae of his order.

_Sheldon._

Sometimes that boy just drove her insane. And, the list he had left her about taking care of his and Leonard's apartment while they were gone, even though he had told her 50 bazillion times already. The precise measurements of how much to feed his glow in the dark fish, instead of pinches of fish food, it was in fractions of teaspoons. How to stack and sort the mail by type and date. "Now this is very important Penny, you need to discern what is junk mail and what is not! For example, my Physics World should not be placed in the same pile as a J. Crew catalog," he said. "And how I ever ended up getting that catalog, I'll never know. I'd tell you to recycle it, but that may lead you to actually discarding something important." Thankfully both he and Leonard had set up their bills with automatic payments.

When she had finished festooning the apartment with all the welcome home decorations, she walked over to the couch and plopped herself down in Sheldon's spot. She did a little shimmy-shake of her butt making her self more comfortable on the leather seat cushion. She had to admit that Sheldon was right, this was the most optimal seat in the apartment. She would be reluctant to relinquish it back to him, since she had been at their place more than her own in the last couple of months. It had started out a few hours at a time a couple of days a week until it had escalated to her sleeping there nearly every night. She had started out sleeping in Leonard's bed, because she knew that he wouldn't mind. In fact, he'd love it.

_Leonard._

She knew he had a huge puppy love crush on her and they'd tried dating and even shared a couple of amazing kisses, but things just weren't clicking right between them. Not that the other men she dated were prizes. It would all start with the initial primal attraction of the way she looked, but it never really went any deeper than that. At least Leonard did try and make an effort to have more of a relationship with her than the others she had dated. She just didn't feel that spark towards him. To her, he would always just be a friend, perhaps even her best friend. And, if she was being truthful to herself, she got a boost out of the way he fawned over her sometimes. Just hanging out with Leonard and his friends did wonders for her when she was feeling down, even when Howard ogled her every chance he could, dropping double entendres whenever the chance arose. And poor sweet Raj, to overwhelmed to even speak directly to her. In fact, the only on of her little group that didn't treat her like a sex object was Dr. Whack-a-doodle himself. Her eyebrows knitted together and she frowned slightly, wondering why that should bother her so much. After all, it was Sheldon, the human robot.

_Sheldon._

"Holy crap on a cracker!" She forgot that his bed sheets and comforter were still in the dryer.

On the fourth or fifth night she had stayed over at the guys apartment Penny just couldn't get comfy in Leonard's bed. She didn't really want to go back across the hall to her place. So she decided to risk what she was sure would be a strike against her in Sheldon's rules of friendship and went into his room…and slept in his bed. It turned out to be one of the best nights sleep she had since moving to California. So, night after night for the past month she had been sleeping in Dr. Sheldon Cooper's bed. God, if he ever found out he'd probably twitch his way into an apoplectic attack. She laughed to herself at the image of him that rose to her mind as she hustled down to the laundry room to collect his bed linens. They'd be home in the next hour or so, and she certainly didn't want Sheldon having kittens so soon after arriving home.

"Crap, crap, CRAP!"

Penny had only been gone for five minutes from apartment 4A, but is was long enough to have missed Leonard's call. She played back the message that had gone to her voicemail.

"Hi Penny, it's Leonard. I'm not sure what time we're going to get back."

He paused for a moment before he continued in a hushed tone.

"Our plane was diverted to San Francisco due to a passenger disturbance."

In the background she could hear Sheldon admonish him, "Leonard, that was not my fault!"

"Yeah, well apparently the sedative we slipped Sheldon wore off. Luckily he didn't get arrested, but we got booted off the plane and now we have to drive home from here. We won't get home until the middle of the night, so we'll see you tomorrow."

"Bye, Penny"

_This bites._

Penny didn't think she could stand waiting another hour, and now she'd have to wait 'til tomorrow. And it was friggin' Thai night to boot. And as if to remind her of just how hungry she was, her stomach growled. She had only picked up the essentials for the guys at the grocery store this afternoon, milk, soy milk & cereal. Her place didn't have much to offer either, so she went over to the shelf and pulled down the box of instant oatmeal, and put the kettle on to boil. She stared around the empty apartment unable to fight back the tears anymore and started to cry.

***

After a thoroughly unsatisfying dinner of congealed oatmeal and tears, Penny gathered up the sheets and comforter and went to make up Sheldon's bed.

"What the ..?"

"Ow!"

Could this day get any worse, Penny thought to herself. And what the frak had she just snagged and ripped her fingernail on? She had been tucking in the flat sheet when her index finger jabbed into something between the mattress and box spring. What the hell could Sheldon be hiding under there?

_Oh no, it couldn't possibly be… no, not Sheldon. Well, perhaps Sheldon wasn't so much of a robot after all!_

She slowly reached below the mattress to pull out what she was sure was Sheldon's secret stash of porn magazines, but instead brought out a black and white composition notebook. One of the ones he was always toting about writing down the results of various experiments. She was about to put it back when she glanced at the label on the front cover.

PENNY

Penny was torn, should she put it back or dare another strike and open it? Well, hadn't the thing practically attacked her? She deserved to open it, and it had her name on it too, wasn't that another reason to at least glance inside? Curiosity finally got the better of her, and she flipped open to the first page. What was inside shocked and amused her. It almost read like a trouble shooting guide in an owner's manual. Things like '_If I need to contact Penny early on a Saturday morning' _**SOLUTION **_'refrain from knocking on her door until 11 AM or risk bodily harm'. 'If Penny has not had her daily allotment of coffee" _**SOLUTION**_ 'avoid her at all costs'._

She flipped absently through the pages until she came across one that weighed the pros and cons of him keeping her as a friend. He must have written it when he was considering adding Kripke to his limited circle of friends.

**CONS**

She always sits in my seat knowing it is where I sit

Unable of keeping her apartment clean and tidy even though I have provided her with an organizational chart

She always wins at Halo night and I hate to lose

She has Mom's number on speed dial

**PROS**

Is patient when I ask her about social conventions

She always wins at Halo night and I need to learn humility

She gets my food order correct

She will take me where I need to go when Leonard cannot

She tells me the truth

She took care of me when I was sick and sang Soft Kitty

She won't back down from an argument

She wants to be my friend

And below that written observations

' _It goes without saying that Penny is beautiful , but her appearance is neither a pro or a con, it is fact' _

'_Penny does not always believe in her own abilities, which makes no sense at all to me'_

'_There is something intangible about Penny that the above lists cannot measure as to why she wanted to be my friend and how precious she is to me.'_

"Whoa!"

_How…precious…she….is….to…..me_

Penny sat down hard on the bed. Sheldon liked her. He thought she was beautiful. She was precious to him. Her heart started to rapidly beat in her chest and her cheeks flushed as the realization washed over her that maybe he really cared for her, but didn't she reason with herself before that he didn't think about her that way? Perhaps she was wrong. She remembered a myriad of small things that he had done for her. How selfless he had been in lending her money, helping her start her Penny Blossoms business, and he did keep her as a friend over Raj (albeit for only a few minutes) with the whole Kripke incident as this very notebook attested to. The fact that he didn't cringe when she touched him, and the mother of them all, he let her use his laptop.

She was grinning ear to ear as she leaned back on his pillow and watched the glow in the dark fish swim lazily around his bowl. Dr. Sheldon Cooper cared about her, and it felt so right.

***

Sheldon and Leonard slowly trudged up the four flights of stairs carrying their luggage that seemed to get heavier with every step.

"Leonard, I told you it wasn't my fault! I don't see why you are refusing to talk to me. I had only been telling you about how unsafe airline travel is. It was the passengers behind us that caused all the ruckus!"

"Sheldon…..STOP!"

"But Leonard!"

They had reached their landing and were standing in front of 4A.

"That's enough Sheldon, I'm opening the door now, and I'm officially ending any conversation regarding our journey home."

"But why do you get to decide?"

"Sheldon…ENOUGH! I'm exhausted!"

"Alright, but I reserve the right to continue this conversation at a latter date that we both agree upon."

"Accepted…now keep it down so you don't wake everyone in the building."

With that said they both turned and looked across the hall at the door to 4B, both hoping that the loud conversation had woken the apartment's occupant and that she would be standing there. But, apparently Penny slumbered on snug in her bed. Leonard turned back to their door and let himself in.

"Are you going to stay out there all night?"

Sheldon wasn't aware that he was still staring at Penny's door. He reluctantly left the hall and followed Leonard into the apartment.

---

Leonard smiled at the WELCOME HOME sign and at the other decorations that Penny had put up. His reverie was interrupted by Sheldon's shrieking.

"All the lights are still on!"

"I'm sure Penny left them on so we wouldn't be stumbling around in the dark."

"Leonard, one light would have sufficed, and I would hardly be stumbling around in my own apartment. Unless, did she move the furniture around?"

"No Sheldon, everything is in it's proper place."

Sheldon anxiously glanced around the living room and sat on the couch.

"Leonard."

"What?

"Leonard"

"What!?"

"Leonard, someone's been sitting in my spot!"

"Sheldon, you know it was Penny."

"But it's my spot and she's not allowed!"

"Sheldon, we've been in the Arctic for three months, what does it matter if she sat there?"

"Because it does! And there's a bowl with dried up remnants of oatmeal in it on the coffee table! It's one thing that she leaves a mess in her own apartment, but to bring it over here…"

"Well Sheldon, if Goldilocks is sleeping in my bed, we'll have a trifecta."

Leonard looked down the hall toward the bedrooms. He smiled to himself. _If only._

"Har har….Goldilocks ate porridge not oatmeal. And Penny is hardly a prepubescent female lost in the forest."

"Well, it's something I'm not going to worry about right now. I'm going to bed. Goodnight Sheldon."

As Leonard opened the door to his room, his heart skipped a beat wishing that she would be there, but only his empty bed was, beckoning to him. He was out cold before his head hit the pillow.

***

Sheldon could forgive Penny for sitting in his spot on the couch but he wasn't going to let anyone know that let alone her. In fact he quite enjoyed the repartee that occurred between them when she purposefully provoked him by doing so. As he washed the dirty cereal bowl and turned off the lights he half-heartedly muttered to himself "Oh, strike one little Miss Goldilocks, strike one" as he headed towards his room. He opened the door.

_Strike two_

She was asleep on his bed. And dear Lord…

_**Strike THREE**_

His private journal was opened, and she had read it! This was worse than when she had read his letters from MeeMaw. Had she read the whole thing? Did she know? He sucked in his breath sharply and started to twitch.

---

She woke with a start and sat bolt upright in the bed. She hadn't meant to fall asleep, _what time was it anyway_? And then she heard the rasp of his breathing. She looked over to Sheldon who was standing in the doorway with his eyes bugging out of his head.

"Penny, you--you should not be in my room!"

She jumped off of the bed like she was catapulted.

"Three strikes Penny, three strikes. The cereal bowl, sleeping on my bed, and--and.."

He looked down and away from her unable to complete his sentence he just pointed at the open journal. She walked over, stood in front of him and put her finger on his lips.

"Ssh, Moonpie."

His trembling lessened, his bright blue eyes pierced into her brilliant green, and he tried to talk even though her finger was still pressed to his lips.

"Only MeeMaw is allowed.."

"It's okay sweetie."

She moved her finger away from his mouth and drew it along the line of his jaw. She stood up on her tiptoes and kissed him softly .

"You're precious to me too."

In the time it took for Sheldon to process what had just occurred, blinking his eyes in rapid succession as though he was awaking from a dream, Penny had already slipped out of his room and was back across the hall into her own apartment. She leaned back against the door, butterflies in her stomach and her head spinning. _Hoping…hoping..._

Knock, knock, knock

"Penny"

Knock, knock, knock

"Penny"

Knock, knock, knock

"Penny"


	2. Too soft

Penny squashed down the butterflies , grasped the doorknob wondering just what Sheldon's reaction was going to be to her kiss. She slowly opened the door to the very anxious man standing in front of her.

"Hi Sheldon, welcome home!" she said brightly.

"Welcome home? Welcome home? Penny, you kissed me!"

_ugh, reaction not so good_

"Yeah, I know."

"Penny, you kissed me on the lips!"

"I am quite aware that I kissed you on the lips."

"I will not even begin to lecture you about the bacteria and germs involved. There is a more pressing matter that we need to talk about. Penny, Leonard is my best friend."

"Leonard and I are no longer dating Sheldon, and we haven't been in sometime, months before you even left for the North Pole."

"He is still quite infatuated with you."

_Leonard again_. She was starting to get pissed.

"What, did Leonard call dibs on me? It's not up to him you know, he doesn't get to choose my life for me! We are just friends."

He decided to quickly change tack from the subject of Leonard and back to the matter at hand.

"Why did you kiss me Penny?"

She thought of what she would she tell him, the truth of course, he knew that as much as she did.

"I missed you Sheldon, more than I even realized, and after I read your journal, well I really didn't think about it Sheldon. I just needed to kiss you"

"Did you read my entire journal Penny?"

_Oh crap, maybe he didn't think about me that way. I must have missed something._

"No, just a few pages. I fell asleep after reading your pro/con page of why we're friends.

He only replied "Hmm."

"Are we okay Sheldon?"

_Please let us be okay_

"I am going to have to evaluate about how this has affected our relationship as friends."

"We'll still always be friends no matter what won't we?"

Sheldon didn't answer her question, only stared at her for a few moments before saying 'Goodnight Penny'.

"Goodnight Sheldon."

She closed the door quickly unable to bear watching him walk across the hall.

"Dammit" she whispered to herself. _I've jumped the gun again and now I've ruined everything. But, he never would have made the first move, and aren't I a big ol' five when it came to men?_

She started to walk towards her kitchenette to make a cup of tea to settle her jangled nerves. She hadn't even made it as far as the stove when the all too familiar rapping started.

Knock, knock, knock

"Penny"

_That was fast, had he already though everything through?_

Knock, knock, knock

"Penny"

_Crap, what if he doesn't even want to be my friend anymore_

Knock, knock, knock

"Penny"

_You can do this girl, time to face the paintball firing squad_

It was much harder to open the door the second time.

----

"Back so soon sweetie?"

"Penny, it would appear that due to the disruption of my circadian rhythm and the disjointed state in which I left my apartment, it would appear that I am unable to re-enter my domicile."

"Huh? Try English Sheldon, it's really late."

"Exactly my point Penny. I'm overtired and locked out. And, Leonard isn't answering the door. I need the spare key to my apartment."

_Good sign, no decisions yet_

"Oh, okay. Hold on a sec." "Um, sweetie?"

"Is there a problem Penny?"

"The key to you apartment isn't here. See I got a bowl like you suggested to keep keys in and it's not here."

"Then were is it?" he whined.

"Odds are it's over at your apartment. When I left your place I grabbed my own keys, and since I keep your spare separate from my key ring it's probably resting right at the bottom of your own key bowl thingy."

He started to fidget. "Penny, I haven't entered a REM state in nearly 24 hours. The drug induced stupor , courtesy of Wollowitz, did not produce the total desired effect of my being totally unconscious."

"Does that have anything to do with why you were kicked off the plane?"

"That was not my fault Penny! Point one--I was drugged which caused an unknowable chemical reaction to my body. Point two--I do not like to fly, this is a well known fact. Point three--when I'm startled from a fitful doze, I tend to shout things."

"Like?"

Sheldon looked sheepishly at the floor and said in a barely audible whisper "Danger, danger."

Penny couldn't help but smile. "Oh, honey."

"It kind of snowballed from there."

"Well, come inside, you can stay here and sleep in my bed."

His eyes whipped up from the floor to her face.

"Alone." she added.

He visibly relaxed and followed her into her apartment.

"I was about to make some chamomile tea, do you want some?"

"I would prefer a hot shower and my own bed, but I suppose a cup of tea will do."

"Sheldon, you can take a shower here you know."

"But, I don't have any clean pajamas to change into."

_Huh, he didn't say no outright, maybe I'm not on such shaky ground after all_

"Don't worry, I think I can scrounge some clothes to fit you. I still have one or two of Kurt's old t-shirts and some sweatpants that shouldn't be too small for you."

"I don't supposed you have an unopened package of men's size 32" briefs?"

"Nope, sorry."

"What am I going to wear then?"

"Do you want a pair of my panties?" she said in her best chipper voice.

"That is out of the question Penny! I am not wearing women's undergarments. Not to mention the fact that they would never fit me."

Penny rolled her eyes at him.

"Oh wait, was that sarcasm?"

"Yes Sheldon, that was sarcasm. So you have two choices as I see it in regards to underwear."

"And those choices would be?"

"Go commando or go naked."

Sheldon looked at Penny to determine if she was employing sarcasm again. Taking in her hard stare, the choice was obvious.

"Commando it is."

---

Sheldon stepped into Penny's bathroom and closed and locked the door behind him. He knew he was entering into uncharted territory and he needed the false safety of a simple thumb lock between them.

"Goodnight Sheldon. I've left the clothes on the edge of the bed. The towels in the bathroom are clean." she called to him through the door.

"Thank you Penny. Goodnight"

He heard her soft tread through the room, and the click of the bedroom door shutting. As he methodically undressed, Sheldon folded and placed his clothes on top of Penny's laundry hamper. He then inspected the tub enclosure to make sure it met with his cleanliness standards, somewhat surprisingly they did. He adjusted the tap to the perfect temperature and gingerly stepped into the tub. He was met with a large choice of body washes and shampoos. Penny was making good use of his woefully inadequate Christmas gift to her. He went through them one by one until settling on one scented with milk and honey. As he stood under the spray he didn't think about Penny only 15 feet away from him, about her kissing him, reading his journal, sleeping in his bed or sitting in his spot. He didn't need to think over anything and decide. He had already reasoned over all the data presented to him since he walked into 4A on his return home. His course of action had been made about 30 seconds after Penny had slipped out of his room. Only careful observations of how Penny now acted and reacted in the next coming days would change his mind.

***


	3. Just right

Sheldon picked up the shirt Penny had left out for him. He wished it was one of his preferred type superhero t-shirts instead of one with some sports team logo he had never heard of. It was a size too big owing to the previous owners hulking build, but as his MeeMaw always said 'If wishes were horses beggars would ride'. He knew the sweatpants would be too small and the leg length too short. And, one thing was positive as he held them up for inspection and saw what was emblazoned across the backside, he was _NEVER EVER_ going to wear them.

----

He whipped open the door from Penny's bedroom to the living room tightly clasping the towel around his waist, in the other hand he held forth the offending item.

"Penny, how do you expect me to put these on?"

_One leg at a time? Oh, the death glare, maybe I shouldn't have, but…_

"I'm sorry Moonpie, are they way too small?" she said innocently.

"Too small, too small you say? I refuse to wear anything so-so… I literally cannot find the words."

He held the sweatpants aloft in front of him.

"And **JUICY** definitely would not would be on of them!"

Penny started laughing hysterically. He used his best death glare stare at her, but it only produced another burst of giggles from her.

She gasped out between fits of her winding down laughter "I couldn't help it honey, old habits die hard. There's a regular pair of sweats on top of the dresser."

"Penny, I don't think I'll ever fully understand your sense of humor."

The death glare had been replaced with a look of consternation.

"I don't expect you to sweetie. So go put your pants on and go to bed."

She thought better of asking him if he wanted her to sing Soft Kitty. She certainly didn't want all of his circuit breakers tripping in one night. But if he asked her to….

---

"Well then Penny, goodnight again."

"Goodnight Sheldon, sweet dreams."

She curled up on the couch, her mind racing. It hadn't even been an hour since he arrived home and so much had changed for her because of a single kiss. She hoped she had regained some of their equilibrium with the verbal sparring which defined a large part of their relationship. She never thought she would fall asleep, but exhaustion finally overtook her into a still and dreamless sleep.

---

Penny woke up with a stiff neck and a sore back. Sleeping on the couch did not agree with her body. She stood and stretched trying to work the kink out of her back. She absentmindedly glanced at the clock in the kitchen. The digital display on the stove read 09:21. She looked over and saw that the door to her room was still closed and a big grin lit up her face.

_He's still here_

Penny found Sheldon was still sound asleep when she quietly opened the bedroom door and peeked in. She tiptoed her way to the bathroom so she could pee.

_Ack._ She caught sight of herself in the mirror as she was washing her hands. _I look like a big ol' mess._

She ran a brush through her hair a few times to work out all the knots, brushed her teeth, and splashed some cold water across her face. As she was drying off her face with a hand towel, something else caught her eye in the mirror's reflection.

_Sheldon's clothes_

She couldn't resist. Penny went over and picked up his long-sleeved thermal tee and his green lantern t-shirt. She brought them up to her face and inhaled deeply. Oh God. They smelled like him. Like detergent and something else. His own body's scent imparted into the cotton after a long days travel. She breathed in the fabric again.

_I'll wash his clothes for him, it's the least I can do for him and get back on his good side_

She went to gather up his corduroy pants and felt something hard in the front pocket. She reached her hand in and pulled out a key. A key with a Hello Kitty ribbon tied to it.

---

Penny banged open the door from the bathroom, jumped on the bed and yelled at the top of her lungs.

"Dr. Sheldon Cooper!"

He sat bolt upright and blurted out 'ghu MIl'oD'*

"Huh? Penny why are you yelling?"

He rubbed his eyes with the base of his palm clearing away the last of his dream. He tried to focus on what Penny was dangling in front of his face.

"Sheldon, would you care to explain to me how the spare key to your apartment ended up in the front pocket of your pants?"

He unleashed that devilish gaze upon her. The one that said I'm ten steps ahead of you and no matter what you think of, I've already thought it before.

"I am a genius you know." He said smugly. "When you left my room, I knew you would not return, so I formalized a plan to get you to let me stay here."

Confused, Penny stammered "But-but you had the key."

"I saw it in the bowl as I exited the apartment and I grabbed it. Regardless of your giving and caring nature, there was an infinitesimal chance that you wouldn't let me in."

She had to ask, she had to know everything and he would tell her the truth as she had always done for him.

"So, no trying to wake up Leonard up to let you back in?"

"No."

"And your concern for Leonard?"

"I needed to know if you harbored romantic feelings for him. I prevaricated before. Although he still remained hopeful that things could change, Leonard had come to realize when we were gone that he also felt the two of you were better off as friends."

_Leonard. A guy could still dream couldn't he? This was good, it wouldn't be too awkward between them._

"Why did you want to know if I had read your entire journal?"

"Do you realize Penny that you call me 'Sweetie' on average 73.3% more than Leonard, Raj and Howard combined? You called my 'Honey' 24% more than them as well. This is due to the fact that you tend to use that affectionate name for Raj a great deal of the time, which threw off the curve."

"What does that have to do with your journal?"

"Those numbers bothered me Penny, and I had to figure out why. To prove a theory if you will. Through the course of reading and rereading my observations of you I came to a conclusion. Not a conclusion about you, but about myself."

"And, what did you conclude…. Sweetie?" Penny said, her anger completely faded as her heart started beating wildly in her chest.

He smiled broadly at the word Sweetie.

"That those numbers were too low. I didn't like you calling anyone else besides me those names. How was I to increase my percentage when only you could-could…" he looked into her eyes letting go of his carefully crafted shield against emotion.

She grabbed a fistful of her ex-boy friend's t-shirt and hauled Sheldon closer to her.

"Dr. Cooper, may I provide you with additional data?"

She didn't pause for a moment as her lips found his. He responded with a passion she hadn't thought him capable of. They broke apart briefly after what seemed like an eternity and only moments at the same time.

"How does that compute Sheldon?"

"I believe I have a new theory, do you know what a gravity well is?" He looked at her and saw how her eyes blazed at him.

_Oh well, there was a time for theories and there was a time for actions._

He ran his fingers through her hair and gently pulled her back to him.

Fin.

_*Klingon for baby bear. I just couldn't resist!_

* * *

A/N: Thank you for all your kind reviews. As this was my first ever fanfic, I was quite nervous about posting, but you all made it easier for me.

ps. Just a random thought, I couldn't get Squeeze's _'Take Me I'm Yours'_ out of my mind as I was writing, you should check out the lyrics if you don't know the song, it just seemed apropos.


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